A Students Experience
Practicing Christian Insight Meditation
My question came at the end of a weekend retreat with Father Thomas Keating at the FCJ Centre in Calgary: Does Buddhist Vipassana or insight meditation open you to the Holy Spirit? Father Thomas’ answer came quickly but also with an accompanying question, “Yes, but have you tried Christian Insight meditation with Dr. Mary Jo Meadow?” Thus began my search to acquire Mary Jo’s books and attend one of her nine day Silence and Awareness retreats.
In June 2006 I traveled to the Franciscan Mt. Alvernia Retreat Centre in upstate New York to finally take part in one of the silent retreats taught by Mary Jo Meadow. The retreat centre was beautifully located in the hills of the Hudson Valley and most of the retreatants had sat the course before. Many were in religious life, nuns and priests of the Discalced Carmelite order but there were a handful of lay people, as well as an Anglican priest from Grimsby, Ontario.
In the retreat Mary Jo teaches the Buddhist practice of Vipassana, or insight meditation within the framework of Christian contemplative prayer found in Carmelite spirituality, especially in the life and writings of John of the Cross and the illuminating writings of Teresa of Avila. A secular Carmelite herself, a Sister for Christian Community, a clinical psychologist, and a retired professor emeritus of religious studies, Mary Jo was an inspiring speaker and teacher as she led us through the days of silence with sitting and walking meditation times, daily Eucharist, and illustrative discourses.
The retreat began with a day of loving kindness practice, a practice which over time helps you develop a loving heart toward all beings and to yourself. Then the real work began as we learned and practiced the method of insight meditation. Mary Jo gave daily talks about the writings of John of the Cross which helped to connect mind with spirit and practice.
The writings of John of the Cross are based on his personal experiences and serve as guidelines into this apophatic type of prayer. John of the Cross taught that we need very deep self-knowledge to lead a moral life and to know God. Insight or mindfulness practice helps us to see patterns in our lives – ways that we set ourselves up for repeated unhelpful behaviours, patterns of emotions and ways of living. John said we have to see our clinging all the way to the very depths of our beings which, as the meditative work progresses, we see that our problem is not only habits and actions of behavior but also clinging to unhelpful opinions, memories and emotional reactions. This self knowledge is necessary to know God; we go to knowledge of God through knowledge of self.
John of the Cross further said that the less we cling, the emptier we are and the more room there is for God. Doing the practice we just make ourselves present to be worked on by the sanctifying power of the Holy Spirit.
Meditation teaches us how to become very still and to listen. It guides us in letting go of the noisy busyness of our mind-chatter, of craving particular experiences in prayer, of wanting to be in charge of our conversation with God. It teaches how to simply be there listening. Thus, meditation is very intimate prayer, the most deep and humble way we can choose to relate to God.
I have to admit there were many times when the noisy chatter of my mind was infinitely more interesting than the practice. Silence does not mean being unaware of others at times r, no matter how hard I tried! There was the “tick” scare – don’t walk in long grass as the ticks carry Lyme disease. Of course I had and I was sure there was an army of ticks hidden in the folds of my skirt! On the last day, talking resumes and talk we did. Although everyone’s experience is their own, there are always the “did you notice” comments that have you laughing and realizing that we all are one on the journey.
Insight meditation has become central to my prayer life and I see it as a method to respond to the two great commandments left to us by Jesus: ‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind, and with all your strength.’ The second, ‘You shall love your neighbour as yourself. ‘(Mk 12: 30-31). Devoting nine days to silence and practice is a gift to oneself that you cannot appreciate until you step out in faith and undertake the challenge – one that I continue to do annually.
2Mary Jo Meadow. Mindfulness Practice and Christian Living. Talk given to US Army Chaplains in Washington DC
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